When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
