I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
