i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
