I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
