I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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