Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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