Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
