You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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