i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
