I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
