I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
