i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
