i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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