They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
