I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
