They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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