so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
