the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
