I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
