I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
