i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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