Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
