The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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