It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
