Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
