it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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