Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
