I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
