Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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