How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
