My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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