we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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