If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I need a burrito and a hug.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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