you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I will be naked everywhere
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My bed smells like the plague
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