I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
