Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
