Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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