I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
