If that was your dad, he is hot
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do vagina's smell?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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