We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
