Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
now i know why i became what i already was.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
