Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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