He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize