Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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