Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
