She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
