yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a beard to bite.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
