Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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