Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize