if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize