so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize