Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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