with your own penis?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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