why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize