she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
