is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
