At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
