I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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