Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
