hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
