Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
