A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
