Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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