she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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