He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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