I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
