Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
