You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
do herpes really smell.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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