therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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