I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
