Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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