Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
