The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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